I only feel comfortable for so long

and then I eat too much

or I say too much.

I just cannot accept that other people

have problems too.


her's is the prettiest face I have seen in ages.

if' only she could enjoy elliott smith with me.

Black Horse Motel

[Black Horse Motel @ McIntyre's]

They were better than I ever expected.
More to come on them later.

Black Horse Motel - Nonfiction

The video is shit, too dark to see anything. But the sound is good. I'll write a review on this before the weekend is through (and hopefully see them again Saturday for a 2nd try).

[trash]

"I like flaws and feel more comfortable around people who have them. I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."

Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking

Bob Dylan - Can't Leave Her Behind

Productivity

[hand down]

It's almost April, and while I always make an effort to follow some sort of a strict diet and exercise regiment for overall health purposes, I find that my ability to maintain it through the Winter is especially difficult. The reason being, well, Winter depresses the shit out of me. I can't persuade myself with any kind of success to leave the warm comfort of my room and go for the 5 mile run I do every day through the months of April-October. For one, its too cold, and for two, there is simply not enough daylight to fit it into my schedule on a daily basis. But Spring makes me eager to get back to it. To start the obsession all over again. I set goals, and I achieve them. My mind becomes clear and focused. I am constantly high on caffeine and adrenaline. I have so much energy that I never want to stop. I sleep less because the sun is shining and I want to be in it.

My diet:

coffee. coffee. coffee.
soy/banana smoothie.
veggie/grain/tofu something for lunch and/if dinner.
water. water. water.

I've been running 4 miles because I don't want to over-do it while I can't be consistent with it, but today I pushed myself to 5. This means I can't turn back. It's started.

On the other hand, while I was a completely depressed sloth through the winter, I managed to get into a reading routine which will not end when the birds start chirping.

Books read in the past month:

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris
(holy shit, witty, hysterical)

Running With Scissors, Augusten Burroughs
(holy shit, dark, disturbing, hysterical)

Magical Thinking, Augusten Burroughs
(holy shit, warm, dark, witty, hysterical)

So, while I'm on the memoir kick, next is:

Ham on Rye, Charles Bukowski

But what I really need to do it take some new pictures. I've pretty much cleaned out my archive.

REM - Tongue (live)

Michael Stipe does his best falsetto to sing from the perspective of a girl. It's one of my favorite's off the underrated Monster.

don't lay that stuff all over me.
it crawls all over. all over me.

Love

[White Face]

Charles Bukowski

Love

she's young, she said,

but look at me,

I have pretty ankles,

and look at my wrists, I have pretty

wrists

o my god,

I thought it was all working,

and now it's her again,

every time she phones you go crazy,

you told me it was over

you told me it was finished,

listen, I've loved long enough to become a

good woman,

why do you need a bad woman?

you need to be tortured, don't you?

you think life is rotten if somebody treats you

rotten it all fits,

doesn't it?

tell me, is that it? do you want to be treated like a

piece of shit?

and my son, my son was going to meet you.

I told my son

and I dropped all my lovers.

I stood up in a cafe and screamed

I'M IN LOVE,

and now you've made a fool of me ...

I'm sorry, I said, I'm really sorry.

hold me, she said, will you please hold me?

I've never been in one of these things before, I said,

these triangles ...

she got up and lit a cigarette, she was trembling all

over. she paced up and down, wild and crazy. she had

a small body. her arms were thin, very thin, and when

she screamed and started beating me I held her

wrists and then I got it through the eyes: hatred,

centuries deep and true. I was wrong and graceless and

sick. all the things I had learned had been wasted.

there was no living creature as foul as I

and all my poems were

false.

Heath Ledger Directed A Modest Mouse Video

The Heath Ledger/Nick Drake Connection

Tom Waits to Star in The Book of Eli (& Heath Ledger connection)

Southeast Engine - Let Me Down

I came to see you a million times

we tried to reconcile

these feelings take a mile off your life

[Merry X-Mas]

sometimes a smile contains the power to make you forget
that you were wearing a frown before you met it.

Bob Dylan - I'm Not There [MP3]
Cat Power - The Greatest [YouTube]
Sam Cooke - Bring It On Home To Me [live. YouTube]
Sam Cooke - Bring It On Home To Me [random YouTube cover]

[rock out]

i am self-absorbed.
i am never bored and never feel lonely.

Louis CK - The Difference Between Girls and Women
Louis CK - Children and Their Secrets
Louis CK - Bad Words