[pattern #1. click to view larger image.]
some nights i toss and turn. i still struggle with anger and anguish.
i tell myself that its not worth it, which then means that it wasn't worth it, which means that my love and care were mistakes. that makes it hard to sleep at night.
Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping - Air
Without blindness, there is no sight
You'd see further if you'd only close your eyes
In unconsciousness, I can find peace
[go birds, go]
White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes*
I was following the pack
all swallowed in their coats
with scarves of red tied ’round their throats
to keep their little heads
from fallin’ in the snow
And I turned ’round and there you go
And, Michael, you would fall
and turn the white snow red as strawberries
in the summertime..
*excellent stop-motion video
[dirty orange tits]
[body & lace]
imma let it go without water
imma watch it whither away
there's no point in bending;
there are storms inside that
could break us
and i'd rather keep myself going
so don't miss me when you're lonely.
[Winter Woods II]
Girl in Port - Okkervil River
Oh, I'm a weak and lonely sort
Though I'm not sailing just for sport
I've come to feel
Out on the sea
These urgent lives
Press against me
I'm just a guest
I'm not a part
With my tender head
With my easy heart
These several years out on the sea
Made me empty, cold, and clear
Pour yourself into me
It Ends In A Fall - Okkervil River
Wish I could remember
why it mattered to me.
It doesn’t matter to me.
It doesn’t matter to me
anymore.
Now that you’re
feeling fine,
I’ll admit that – though
I know it’s coming down,
and see it shattering me
- it doesn’t matter to me,
and I’m not sadder for
seeing it come .
