some nights i toss and turn. i still struggle with anger and anguish.
i tell myself that its not worth it, which then means that it wasn't worth it, which means that my love and care were mistakes. that makes it hard to sleep at night. Somewhere Between Waking and Sleeping - Air Without blindness, there is no sight You'd see further if you'd only close your eyes In unconsciousness, I can find peace
I was following the pack all swallowed in their coats with scarves of red tied ’round their throats to keep their little heads from fallin’ in the snow And I turned ’round and there you go And, Michael, you would fall and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime..
imma let it go without water imma watch it whither away
there's no point in bending; there are storms inside that could break us
and i'd rather keep myself going so don't miss me when you're lonely.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
[Winter Woods II]
Girl in Port - Okkervil River Oh, I'm a weak and lonely sort Though I'm not sailing just for sport I've come to feel Out on the sea These urgent lives Press against me I'm just a guest I'm not a part With my tender head With my easy heart These several years out on the sea Made me empty, cold, and clear Pour yourself into me It Ends In A Fall - Okkervil River Wish I could remember why it mattered to me. It doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. Now that you’re feeling fine, I’ll admit that – though
I know it’s coming down, and see it shattering me - it doesn’t matter to me, and I’m not sadder for seeing it come .
